A TCK expert comes every year to meet with kids, teachers, and classes, and do a workshop with the seniors at the highschool in Taichung. I took teh opportunity to talk to her about our ownlittel TCk and asked what are the most important things that we should know about raising a TCK. (Do we have any TCKs in the audience?)
First of all, What is a TCK you may be asking? The acronym refers to Third Culture Kid, and the definition "refers to someone who [as a child] has spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and their own birth culture, into a third culture".[1] So it is the mix of the parent's culture, and the culture they actually live in. You can see why this comes into play in a missionary school, where most of our kids are TCKs. I'll skip the other info about TCK profiles, etc, and skip to the advice we got.
1) Take advantage of all the opportunities presetned in the host culture. (Which is good advice for kids in any culture, I think) Travel. Study language. It is very unique to live in a different coutnry and kids should be taught the value of other cultures.
2) Be deliberate in relationship building. TCKs have relational roots, not geographic roots, so be deliberate in building relationships with important people. Send pictures, write letters and send gifts, web chat. Kids can still bond with grandparents and cousins, etc, from overseas. It has to go both ways: A grandparent will never forget they have a grandchild, but a grandchild will forget they have a grandparent.
3) Tell stories. You know, the remember the time we did this, or went there, etc.. A kid at home will hear the stories from uncles and aunts whenever the family gets together, but the TCK parent needs to fill that role.
I am happy that we were doing the things she suggested already. We phone and chat with people regularly, we've sent packages, we've recieved packages. Gemma has a photoalbum with her family people in it and framed pictures of her friends in her room. Of course we want Gemma to feel close to all her family and friends. I know my grandma says this is impossible: "She'll never be close to her cousins like you kids were" (dare I ask if any of you beleive that?) but I think it is possible.