Saturday Sleepover

If you know anything about Gemma you will know that she has always been a terrible sleeper. A lot of it is our fault, but throw in pretty regular confusional arousals and you have a kid (and parents) who haven't slept through the night that much in the last 4 1/2 years. This summer was the final kicker, literally... it just got to be too much of sharing a bed with her because she kicks and turns and yells and gets mad, and spreads out. She'd go to sleep in her bed, move to our bed, so I'd move to her bed, so then she'd come down there... like musical chairs all night long. So the biggest parenting goal of fall 2011 has been sleep training Gemma. Started with a mat on our floor and the new rule: No More Sleeping in Mom and Dad's Bed. Period. Well, that didn't work at all because she would just 5 seconds for me to fall asleep and come to the mat. Perfect for her because she was right close to us where she wanted to be. Plan B, sigh... so I slept on the floor of her room on the mat for 2 weeks. Why? Well, I've done a lot of reading and research on sleep, and one of the big things about sleep is that everyone wakes up periodically throughout the night. Our body does this to keep us safe; maybe you wake up and smell smoke and then you can rouse yourself out of sleep to get out, or hear a sound, or whatever. But most of the time, when things are fine, your body wakes up, does a quick check that everything is fine, and goes back to sleep. As adults we don't even really notice this. This might be when you stretch out, or readjust your pillow. But children need to be trained to put themselves back to sleep. No you can do this training when they are infants by letting them cry a bit or letting them fall asleep on their own without holding, rocking, nursing, etc, not rushing to them when they wake up.... (and our problems with Gemma go back this far people) and Gemma is is such a habit of WakeUp, My Mom is Not Here! GO GET HER! And so I figured that if I can get her in the habit of sleeping all night in her own bed, that would be HUGE. And it was. Every night for 2 weeks, with no cheating or skipping out, or sneaking back to my own bed at 3am, when Gemma woke up and checked for me, there I was. I could assure her with my voice, and convince her to go back to sleep. The no-cheating part is important because she has to trust that going to sleep in her bed is OK; when you go to sleep worried about something of course you are restless and wake up checking for that exact thing. Knowing I would be there allowed her to relax and sleep better. And so after the 2 weeks, I moved. We've been dialoguing about how she was learning to sleep in her own bed a lot, and she just accepted it. And we've had success! She still wakes up sometimes, but we just remind her that she can't sleep in our bed, and she should just go back to sleep, AND SHE DOES!


Sigh. Of. Relief.


So what is Saturday sleepover? Well, it is the new Saturday thing in the McKenzie house, as a reward for sleeping by herself all week, to meet the need she has for special playtime with Mommy, for the hard work she does by being an 8 hour a day student, for playing nicely by herself on Friday nights when it is grown up friend night. Saturday night is sleepover night! Any theme, any activity, treats, tents, decorations, whatever. Almost anything goes. We rent movies, we make cakes, we have a spa, we do a circus. And we sleep together all night long. Which is ok in this situation because it is on my terms. Yesterday was awesome, because Gemma was so prepared. The first thing she did Saturday morning was pack our backpacks for the sleepover. (We don't usually do backpacks because we're just staying home, but she wanted us to each have a back pack of stuff we would need. Mine had a book, stickers, and a cape. Hers had her jammies, and a book, and some toys.) We made decorations in the morning and hung them up so we'd be ready. It is all too cute, and once Guinness goes to bed it is game on for us. So much fun!!!